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CARING FOR ELDERLY LOVED ONES FROM AFAR
There was a time when family members — grandparents, parents
and children alike — lived in close proximity to each other,
often in the same house. But that was then and this is now. And
now, it's becoming increasingly common for family members to
live in different parts of the country. That trend is fast
colliding with care-giving for the elderly.
According to the MetLife Mature Market Institute's Since
You Care guide, there are some 34 million Americans
providing care to older family members. And 15 percent of these
caregivers, or 5.1 million, live one or more hours from the
person for whom they are providing care.
According to MetLife, these "long-distance
caregivers," in many instances, are caring for a parent or
other older relative and are also employed and have dependent
children of their own. Because of this, they are often referred
to as the sandwich generation. "In some circumstances, due
to actual physical distance and/or other constraints, the
long-distance caregiver may be unable to provide the direct,
everyday, hands on care, but is responsible for arranging for
paid care and coordinating the services that are provided."
And that's no easy task. In many cases, long-distance
caregivers must often juggle the demands of two households.
Often, they have to rely on reports from others about daily
events. Just as often, they have to arrange and then rearrange
work schedules, business trips and doctors' appointments. In
short, the task can be difficult, stressful, and time consuming,
according to AARP. But there are a number of steps you can take
to make the task more manageable.
Gather information and assess the need. Adult children
should determine with their parents (and other family members)
what help is needed. In some cases, adult children should
consider hiring a professional geriatric care manager who can
assess a family member's needs and who, if need be, can provide
ongoing case management. Geriatric care managers are often
familiar with the services that are available to aging parents.
Finding a professional geriatric care manager is easy enough,
say experts. The National Association of Professional Geriatric
Care Managers has a web site that provides links to association
members, many of whom are former nurses or social
workers (www.findacaremanager.org).
A professional geriatric care manager might charge $100 to $500
for an assessment and $60 to $90 an hour for on-going care. If
you choose this option, work with geriatric managers who are
licensed or certified by
the states in which they work and be sure to conduct a full
background check before you hire. Many states and municipalities
typically have benefits and resources that can be used by
qualifying individuals to help cover the costs of some of these
services. Another resource, the Eldercare Locator
(800.677.1116) can tell you which local agencies provide
services and will refer you to the area agency on aging in your
parents' community.
Be prepared. Before a crisis occurs, caregivers and
older family members should complete and distribute widely a
"caregiver emergency information" kit. That kit should
contain all necessary medical, financial, and legal information,
including doctors, medications, insurance information, assets,
and Social Security numbers, wills, living wills, durable powers
of attorney and health care proxies. Adult children should ask
their parents to complete privacy release forms, HIPAA
compliant, and keep copies on file with their parent's doctor's
office. That way, the parent's doctor can discuss an older
family member's health. MetLife has a caregiver booklet that can
be downloaded from its web
site, www.maturemarketinstitute.com.
AARP also has useful long-distance care-giving resources at its
web site, www.aarp.org.
Caregivers might also consider using a personal medical alert
emergency response system.
Develop an informal network. Experts say adult
children should establish an informal support network composed
of family, neighbors, friends, clergy, and others who might
help. Adult children, when visiting their parents or older
family members, should introduce themselves to neighbors and
friends and keep their phone numbers and addresses handy. If an
adult child can't reach a parent, calling that informal network
can provide peace of mind. Plus, they may also be able to help
with some needed tasks.
Visit as often as you can. Long-distance caregivers
should visit their older family members every few months to
check for signs of trouble — which might include changes in
personal hygiene, old food in the refrigerator and chores not
done. Long-distance caregivers should note, however, that such
care can be expensive. According to MetLife, caregivers spend an
average of $193 per month on out-of-pocket purchases and
services for the care recipient and another $199 per month in
traveling and long-distance phone expenses.
It might make sense to consult your financial planner
early-on, to ensure that your loved ones are properly cared for
in the future.
January 2006 — This column is produced by the Financial
Planning Association, the membership organization for the
financial planning community, and is provided by Don McCarty of
Financial Decision Partners, a local member of the FPA.
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